Two weeks ago, the Railyard team was lucky enough to sit in on a conflict session run by Vi and John from Transpectives. We discussed the role of feedback and conflict in a collaborative workplace as well as the operations of conflict in more personal facets of life.

At all times, we have a sense of ourselves. We have an image of who we are, what we look like, the characteristics we own, and our behaviour. Being that we are the pilots in the cockpit of our own consciousness, our sense of self is inherently the most valid and solid.

Feedback is someone challenging the view from our cockpit and the way we fly. Someone giving feedback is saying, “You need to rethink how you view yourself, because I am seeing a different picture of you.” This is difficult to stomach. How can someone say the view from my own cockpit is wrong or invalid? He or she does not understand all the different buttons, levers, and instruments I have in my cockpit that I am so familiar with.

Giving feedback is difficult as you do not want to inflict pain on someone personally by saying, “Your sense of self is not correct right now; your instruments are not configured correctly.” Thus, when someone receives feedback, they are in denial. The recipient of feedback says, “You are incorrect, you cannot challenge the view from my cockpit because you are sitting inside your own.” After denying this feedback, confusion follows. “Is the glass window of my cockpit distorted or refracting the truth into something else? Are my instruments in the wrong configuration?” You can exit that mindset of confusion and leave your cockpit unchanged and leave the instruments in the same arrangement. On the other hand, you can integrate the feedback into your sense of self. This was advocated by Vi and John. You should take the feedback and understand it to then change the configuration of your instruments, levers, and buttons so that you pilot yourself on a newer, better trajectory.

For this summer to be a transformative internship, we as Railyarders and pilots of our own consciousness need to allow our sense of self to be malleable. We need to be open to moving instruments and reconfiguring our cockpits to create the next best version of ourselves.

-Hugh